Welcome to a rich and enjoyable assortment of water-related essays written for a weekly column, "The Water Closet," by the Middleton Stream Team and published from January, 2006, through December, 2011, in the Tri-Town Transcript, a community paper serving the Ipswich River watershed towns of Middleton, Boxford and Topsfield, Massachusetts. The Middleton Stream Team is an active volunteer group with the broad purposes of environmental stewardship, conservation, advocacy, public service and education. The essays and information provided span all these purposes.