When keen Forensic Anthropology student Sarah Bellum has to attend an interview in her housemate's place, with the enigmatic vending machine entrepreneur Crispin Dry of Dry Goods, Inc, it sets off a chain of events that will alter her weekend plans for ever... Sound familiar? Good - it's a parody. Of many stories - almost all of them famous. Just check out the chapter headings for an idea of what's in store Finding herself drawn hypnotically to this dark and complicated (and dead) man - Sarah, her housemate (name as yet unremembered) and their friends become embroiled in a family whose business is steeped in history. Or maybe just lost in it. An action-packed adventure of love, loyalty, war, alcohol, zombies, rickshaws, and squid. Some things will be changed in your hearts afterwards for evermore - but hopefully not the bits that work.