A report of the spiritual journey of the author. Childhood in a Japanese prison camp in Indonesia during World War II; return to Holland; several years in Italy, where quest for spiritual knowledge starts; again return to Holland and study of astrology, Theosophy and New Age ideas of Findhorn Community in Scotland; brief acquaintance with teachings of Gurdjieff; acquaintance with Sufism of Hazrat Inayat Khan and long studies and work in Sufi Circle; pilgrimages to tomb of Inayat Khan in Delhi, India; then in Holland encounter with Russian Master of Hermetic tradition on terrace of Sufi temple. This last event shatters her life completely and leads her eventually back to the spiritual roots of her soul: the inspiring mysticism of the Russian Orthodox Christianity. In a supplementary chapter a discourse on 'Faust in the 21st century'.