A life obliterated by Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). From happy-go-lucky, full of life, joker police bobby on the beat with a zest for life, devotion to duty and unmitigated determination to prove his worth, to high flying Detective Inspector on the National Criminal Intelligence Service (NCIS) and undercover work investigating international crime gangs throughout the world. Beaten, kicked, punched and pummelled to the ground on three occasions and attacked and injured two further times. One whilst being carried on the bonnet of a stolen car as his own side shot at him. Swinging him across the bonnet, the car smashed its way, for over a mile through busy London streets, passed other vehicles one of which broke his leg. Another on an undercover drugs operation, when assailants tied a rope around his neck and threw him from a fifth floor balustrade. Years later suddenly struck down by the mysterious PTSD, struggling with its debilitating affects, coming to terms with the destruction of normal life, the personal perception of the disability and the misunderstood opinions of others. It explains what PTSD did to the author, the emotional roller coaster of the disorder and in hindsight examines his life as a police officer, what can be learned from his experience and how he became a victim and permanently disabled.