UN-CUT VERSION: How to be Selfish (And other uncomfortable advice) Does selfishness have negative associations for you? Does it conjure up an image of someone mean, like a fairytale ogre perhaps? I'm here to tell you that there is another way to be selfish. Selfishness is about helping yourself, yes. It's about satisfying the deep desires within you that cause so much heartache. However, being selfish can also be the best way to improve the lives of people around you. Being strong and joyful and sure of yourself is a gift to the rest of the world, as well as to yourself. "We are brought up to consider how our actions will affect those around us, and to believe that it is good to put the needs of others before our own. But Levancuka argues that "so much fear and anxiety comes from our trying to please others..." THE SUNDAY TIMES