Kinky, pornstar-style sex. In every room and every position. Sex advice for the inept, the knowledgeable, and the sexiest sex-ers having sex. If that's what you're looking for...this is probably not the book for you. Because I'm currently in the middle of the world's greatest stretch of unintentional celibacy. If you want a sexy book like Fifty Shades of Grey, this is not it. I haven't had sex in two years, six months, three days and 2.5 hours. During this time, I've learned two facts: Fact one: Granny panties never lead to coitus. Fact two: Using the word coitus never leads to coitus. My comedic tragedy started when I was twelve and looked exactly like the female version of George Costanza from Seinfeld. My life was full of shenanigans after that. This humor book is a collection of those tales, ramblings, and adventures. But mostly it's about all of the fabulous sex I'm not having.