What are we? This 'metaphysics and epistemology for kids' parable explores some basic and advanced ideas the human species has created to answer the question we each face: 'What am I?' The answer we build informs our views of the entire universe and our relationship with its nature and with each other. We address the big questions: am I the only person or are other people real? Am I material or partly material? Is this a dream? A brief fantastical parable is followed by a brief nontechnical breakdown of the ideas involved.