When I first became diagnosed with severe manic depression, I knew my life would never be the same. When you are on medication for this illness, you must take it the rest of your life. I would not be able to have my own child because of the risk it would be deformed. This was devastating to me. Of course, there was always adoption but this was not an option for me. Perhaps, if I married someone with children then they would become mine too. This was not something I had to consider at the present time. I had to find a positive path to making my life worthwhile. I was single and alone. My friends and family did not understand what I was going through. The confusion, the suffering, the day to day anxiety, the endless sadness and the isolation were too painful for anyone to imagine. Then, when I was in my manic stage, I was euphoric. I would go on shopping sprees, plan expensive vacations, buy gifts for all my friends. My credit card debt exceeded my yearly income. After ten years of psychiatric help, hospitalization, psychotherapy, shock treatments, group therapy and a myriad of pills, I was stable. Then it was up to me to take advantage of every opportunity that came my way. I worked hard to find a good job and purpose in my life. I realized that material things did not matter as much as the friends and family I surrounded myself with. Even with mental illness life is a gift to be cherished every day.