"You will never have a friend " "Never trust anyone " "Every time you open your mouth you say something stupid " "You're ugly " Growing up with these statements constantly said every day, just reinforced that there was nothing to look forward to. I looked forward to school for a couple reasons. One to be away from home and the other was because a teacher may smile or say good job. There weren't many smiles at home. If dad was away my mom would smile or chuckle at times. But mostly I remember her upset about something dad did or worrying because it was time for him to come home from a long distance haul. We never understood everything she went through as his spouse and our mother. As I got older, I realized that she was our protector. She did everything she knew how to do to keep us safe and out of his way. Unfortunately, she was not as successful as she hoped she was. We still grew up with total negativity drilled into every molecule of our body. I am not sure that what she put herself through "for the Kids" was worth her efforts and eventually her life. One of the worst nightmare statements that I heard (and no child should ever have to live with) is this: "I am only staying here because of the kids " "If we didn't have these kids, I would be gone "