You Don't Get to Wear That is the story of the author's struggle to come to terms with his demons, one of which happens to be his own father. In the auto-biographical whirl wind, stand- up comedian John Consoli uses wit, humor and self deprecating sarcasm to address the trials and tribulations of a harrowing life experience that includes child abuse, animal abuse, organized crime, the federal witness protection program, adultery, the Hells Angels, the United States Marine Corps, drug abuse and a giant named "Eddie the Fru." The amazingly tragic tale of a life gone wild and back again serves to carry a message of hope and conquest. It is engaging, fascinating and often laugh out loud funny.