"If anyone can prevent even a single child or teenager from repeating the mistakes described in this book... or help a loved one or family member avoid unnecessary future suffering... then my struggles will not have been in vain." Imagine being arrested, handcuffed and locked behind the bars of a dark, cold, jail cell. The next day you are forcibly dragged to a downtown high-rise and thrust into a 4'x 8' steel-walled cage. Your freedom has been ripped away, even though you haven't been charged with a single crime. The prison guard tells you, "They are going to lock you up and throw away the key " You are driven to an insane asylum where a psychiatrist orders mandatory shock treatments. You are strapped to a gurney, electrodes are stuck to your temples, and a rubber mouthpiece is forced between your teeth. When the first electric voltages pass through your brain, your heart stops. You are revived, then given a series of nine more ECT treatments without anesthesia. Each one feels like a sledge hammer to your head. Your memories fade into a fog. You remain confined indoors and drugged for months... all because you were misdiagnosed as a drug-induced paranoid schizophrenic. As it turns out, you are actually bi-polar with claustrophobia The torture of your confinement, the shock therapy, and being forced to take massive daily doses of the wrong medication leaves you obsessed with suicide. While locked away, your father dies and your girlfriend abandons you. Then one day you are released and simply told to "Have a nice life " Substance abuse soon changes your obsession into a compulsion... one that leaves the blood squirting from your wrist as cold as the dirt you're lying in, while waiting to die. This is a review by Priscilla Estes, The US Review of Books: "Below are my five recommendations to avoid going insane and to avoid insuring that you become some kind of worthless, pathetic, immoral, blubbering idiot in the future." "The cover shows an adorable pre-school cowboy clutching matching six-shooters and grinning at the camera. The Roy Rogers image belies the misery on the pages that follow. What started as a private, therapeutic journal steamrolled into an honest account of a life derailed by grief, drugs, and addictive relationships. Barger does not apologize, make excuses or ask forgiveness... He merely tells it... callous accounts of womanizing and angry outbursts are sometimes uncomfortable to read... The book is a brave chronicle of how not to live and admonishes readers to follow their bliss, go for their dreams, and never give up." Priscilla Estes is a writer from Yardley, Pennsylvania. An Independent Writing and Editing Professional and Director of Christian Life Center and Activities, she was on the faculty of ETSU for twenty-four years. She has authored and co-authored a number of successful publications including "New Orleans Swamp Romp" and "Take Me to The River." A Texas '2-stepper' who grew up in a local rural community of Maryland near Washington College, Priscilla previously lived in Antwerp, Belgium for two years. *(Notice to literary agents, publishers and producers: all applicable rights are open for bid. Contact information is available at the end of the book.)