March across medieval Europe with an army of misfits. Train with teenage killers in the mountains of Persia. Get juicy gossip from a wisecracking vegetable. Orphans, Assassins and the Existential Eggplant takes you on wild ride through the early 13th century with a female alchemist, orphan teenager and an ancient, shrunken eggplant that can speak to whomever wears it. In search of the fabled Lost Stone of Eden, they cross Europe and the Mediterranean with the Children's Crusade, hijack a caravan in the Sahara desert, live with hashish-fueled Assassins in the mountains of Persia and rediscover paradise on the island of Bahrain.