Derek Fitztumbleton, ambitious headmaster of a rural school and belittler of rustic ways, is desperate to make it 'big' in the city. When his wife deserts him for a better life, his quest for promotion becomes ever more urgent. But as an Ofsted visit looms, a flasher, a farmer and a faltering dominatrix are fated to jeopardise his plans... Set within the idiosyncratic workings of a small English village school, Pitchforks & Pina Coladas is a humorous tale which plays on the gaping divide between urban attitudes and every day rural life. "Pitchforks happily brought to mind the tone and style of a Tom Sharpe novel. Comedy this is and deliciously observed..."