Terror and fear for three and a half years I was so nervous sleep was impossible Always walking on eggshells Too scared to speak Never knowing what the next visit would bring This was my on-edge life all because of legally, forced-time spent with a monster. A life decided by a corrupt, disgusting, worthless judge, his associate and a "daddy-friendly" court-appointed therapist. In addition, there were 23 turning-their-heads adults who knew what was happening to me and did NOTHING Did ABSOLUTELY NOTHING The emotional, physical and verbal abuse took its toll on me. Even though the physical abuse never caused life-threatening injuries, the emotional and verbal abuse left lifetime scars Permanent scars at the hand of a monster An "officer of the court" monster who just happened to be my "dad" My mom tried her best to stop the visits and the abuse, but no one helped. I know my years from ages 8-12 would have been a lot different if someone had just listened to ME My name is Rachel Rene. I chose to tell my story, with the help from my mom, hoping it would bring awareness to this over-looked, never-allowed-in-court talked about abuse. My mom told me that last year 2.4 million children were reported to CPS for neglect and/ or abuse. All of these kids will be scarred for life. I know because my scars are very much a part of my heart, mind and body. What faith I held onto, kept my spirit from completely dying. The compassionate and caring people in my life helped me survive, but it was my heavenly visitor, sent by God, that helped me LIVE "