Do not read this beastly book Do not read this horrible, untrue book It's lies-all lies Nothing you read in this book actually happened It's been written without my consent, and it's just a vile attack on me and my colleagues I am the greatest god that ever existed I'm the CEO of Mount Olympus and the most dignified, elegant deity that ever lived These stories are just worthless tripe spread by one of my jealous inferiors. And when I track down whoever it is that is profaning my holy name, by crikey mate, they're going to get it I'm sure you completely understand why you need to destroy this foul piece of fabrication right now Don't even open the cover Biff it on the bonfire, chuck it down the dunny Be quick, mate, I've been worshiped for thousands of years. I've worked hard at my career, and I'm blimmin' well not going to let some cheap lying tabloid take me down Regards, Zeus CEO of Mount Olympus.