The book is a journey from early childhood to the far reaches of disassociation and insanity compounded with alcoholism. It describes the spawning of a very disturbed individual and discovers the onset of the damaging characteristics, which has followed the author till this present day.
This publication unveils the deepest and darkest secrets in order to accept and put to rest a traumatic life engulfed by negativity. It details every aspect, which caused irreparable damage to an otherwise, mild and loving demeanour. The book goes into great detail of what life is like with mental illness and addiction. Dual Diagnosis is the given names for such conditions. In this case, alcohol was used to numb the affects of the illness.
The illness became unbearable to cope with. Medications and therapy do not have the desired affects to calm a crisis, where alcohol is fast acting and gives almost instant temporary relief. This is why it is so addicting. The author was desperate to relieve himself from his painful and torturous life. Unable to face reality, the author hid in the delusional world of disassociation blocking out your realm.
He would hide in this secret world for decades away from the pains of reality. Secluded and alone, he would slip further into the abyss. The alcohol was used to induce this imaginary sanctuary into a new reality. Oblivious to reality, the author entered a place free from rules, regulations and morals. The most despicable swirling thoughts were compounding which was in fact changing his behaviour and character.
Normally a mild and loving demeanour, the author's character would develop into situations, which caused a threat to him and the public. Theauthor slipped into a psychosis and his world turned to black. His character turned evil and demented with no hope of escape. Desperate of staying in control, he used self-mutilation and alcohol to calm the beast. Bloody and intoxicated, he would wander the streets in the early morning hours searching for answers.