Torture, no love, fear, no life. Resentment, rage, anger, payback! Abandonment, rejection, I'm lost! My tears eventually dried out, wanting to cry but having no way to vent or get it out. Rape! No help. I had to protect you as a child while being abused by the so-called love of your life. Abuse, cocaine, self-hatred, darkness, numbness, no light. Raped again! But wait, this rape was before I was three, and the other before the age of ten. Who was there to protect me from the acts of these sinful men? Dirty-I have that feeling even now! Feeling tainted, who would want me after I was violated? Group homes, having to always be on guard, not having a home to go to, leaving me with a cold and dark heart. I fought a fight that wasn't my own, but I held my own. When will I wake up?