Hey guys, Santa here


I've finally decided to set the record straight. I've had too many close calls and have had to cover up too many times to save my image-or I should say my brother's image.


I'm done


Now it's time to tell you the truth about me, Santa Claus, and what REALLY happened to my beard.


Santa never had a beard. According to Santa himself, the whole white fluffy beard never belonged to him but his brother, Fred, who filled in for him after he slipped on ice and hurt his back. Fred slid in and out of chimneys like a pro. Then he found double-chocolate fudge-filled macadamia nut cookies waiting for him and he couldn't resist. He sat right down and finished the WHOLE plate so he didn't have to share with the REAL Santa waiting in the sleigh. Little Anna snuck a picture of Fred, and the next day it was all over the news.


Now the REAL Santa had to figure out how to have a beard or risk disappointing children around the world. He had to get creative with items around him whenever he got caught in the act of Santa-ing. Once he used a handful of snow. Another time he used Christmas lights from someone's Christmas tree. Then there was that one time when he used eggs to cover his naked chin after crashing into a lady's chicken coop-and making a HUGE mess


So please don't pull on Santa's beard next time you sit on his lap. It's not real, but Santa is