Why Insomniac Dreams? Good question! I only wish I'd thought of it. This is how it typically happens: It's bedtime, and Mark dutifully crawls into bed, kisses his long-suffering wife and closes his eyes. Unfortunately, sleep eludes him. For some reason, he can't seem to quiet what's left of his mind. Random neural firings short-circuit his sleep patterns - fleeting thoughts of sinkholes, Kardashians, North Korea, and Thirty-Eight Shades of Peanut Butter. He soon finds himself up and writing his short yet pointless stories. Within this book you will find many of Mark's favorite random neural firings, all of which had, at some time or another, been foisted upon an unsuspecting public as "columns." It is his hope that this book will cure cancer, make you rich, help you find God, and even drop those last stubborn thirty-eight pounds, all while sitting on your butt at home, eating Moon Pies. But if he could simply make you laugh to the point of snorting coffee through your nose at the breakfast table, that would be fine, too.